Guilt
by SimonSeville27
Summary: When someone close dies, the Chipmunks and Chipettes must put their lives back together.  But they each harbor a dark secret about their guilt.  Will they move on or will they let their guilt consume them?  Theonor/Simonette/Alvittany!
1. Chapter 1

**Guilt**

**Chapter 1: The Shootout**

A/N: This is the next story I plan on writing. I'm not going to give much away, but I will tell you that there is a character death and it is mainly a Theonor story. (With guest appearances by Simonette and Alvittany). Well, I hope you enjoy! I'll probably update this one just like my last longer story and write about two chapters a day. We'll see!

If you didn't read "For Love For Us For Brittany" then you don't know my writing style. Let's just put it this way, I love to write a very suspenseful, twisted plot, so if you don't like your head being messed with, you should probably find another story…

Anyway, I hope everybody enjoys this story, and please review!

**Theodore's POV**

To be honest, I felt guilty for what I was about to do. I'd known her for so long, but we weren't on the same team anymore. For the first time in years, we were against each other. And I had to stay firm for what I believed in. I had to support my family, no matter what it meant to her.

I slowly looked at my weapon, and approached her from behind. Normally, being quiet wasn't my thing. I wasn't exactly good at sneaking up behind someone, but everything depended on it.

I heard a slight rustling behind me, but I paid no attention to it. My only chance to get her, was to have the element of surprise.

I held up my gun to her back. "Okay, nice and slow."

She slowly lifted her arms over her head, "You wouldn't shoot me, would you Theodore?"

"I guess not, but it's going to cost you."

She smiled and turned around. "Oh, come here Theo."

She put her arms around my shoulders and pulled me towards her. Our lips touched and we shared a wonderful kiss together. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. As I looked down, a tear fell from my face, "Elle? You shot me?"

I fell to the ground in pain. I held my stomach. Suddenly, I felt another shot to my back. I looked behind me and saw the red stain filling my shirt. The pain wasn't as bad as the pain from the last shot. Holding my stomach, I slowly rolled to my side and looked at the second shooter.

With a weak voice I stared up at him. "Alvin? What the heck?"

Eleanor walked over to Alvin holding out her gun. "Nobody shoots Theodore except me."

She lifted her gun and shot Alvin in the chest. He quickly fell to the ground. She stood over him and shot him again. He rolled in pain as she continued to fill his red shirt with a dark red stain.

Then, she lifted her foot and pressed it against his chest. She slowly pointed the gun towards Alvin. "Just tell me one thing before I pull the trigger. Why?"

Alvin looked up, "He was kissing the enemy. I can't have that happen, no matter who he is."

She shook her head, "Do you have anything to say before you die?"

"No. Take the shot. I don't care." A tear fell down the side of his face, "Tell Brittany… I love her."

Elle pulled the trigger.

"Damn Eleanor that hurt." He screamed.

"It should." A voice shouted from the background. "We froze the paintballs."

Alvin slowly stood up. "That's cheating… and how the heck did you do it? We bought them here so that I wouldn't freeze them."

Simon smiled as he walked up to Alvin shaking a small can, "Liquid nitrogen, never go paintballing without it."

Alvin shook his head, "That's just mean."

"Excuse me?" Simon laughed, "Must I remind you why we had to make the rule about buying them here?"

Alvin started to laugh, "But what about Theodore and Brittany? You were going to shoot them with it too?"

Suddenly Alvin felt a sharp pain.

"Nope. We're all just here to shoot you Alvin"

Alvin turned around and saw Brittany holding a gun. "Et tu Brittany?"

Simon laughed, "Wow Alvin. You actually properly quoted Shakespeare."

"I don't make a habit of it." He turned back towards Brittany, "Just tell me one thing, why there?"

"Oh Alvin," She smiled, "Can you think a better place to shoot you before we sit in the car for three hours."

Alvin grabbed his behind, "I hate you." He turned around and saw me still on the ground, "So why did you shoot him, Eleanor?"

She chuckled, "Well, I wasn't going to, but it was just too funny." She helped me up, "I'm sorry Theo, I forgot we froze the paintballs."

I started to blush, "It's okay. But it's gonna cost you again." She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me.

"Are we even now?"

"Absolutely."

Suddenly Jeanette walked up from behind. "Hey everybody!"

Simon laughed and went to hug her, "Jeanette, what happened?" He kissed her on the cheek, "You must have been shot like twenty times."

She chuckled.

"Who shot you?" Simon turned towards us, "Okay, I want a name." He held up his gun towards the four of us, "Which one of these punks shot you?"

Jeanette turned and whispered something in Simon's ear and he started to laugh hysterically.

Brittany shook her head, "You shot yourself didn't you?"

Jeanette blushed and shook her head, "I was trying to load it with some paintballs that weren't frozen. I didn't want to hurt anybody, and well. I kind of hurt myself in the process."

Alvin looked at his watch, "Well, it's time to go anyway."

We all packed up our belongings and began to leave. Just as we started to walk, Brittany shot Alvin again.

"Damn." He yelled. "Seriously Brittany?"

"Well I had to get both cheeks."

Simon laughed as he hugged Jeanette, "This should be a fun car ride home."

**A/N: That was a cute chapter… Thank you for reading! Please review and keep watching for updates to the story! (Or sign up for Story Alert!)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Dreaming About You**

A/N: Well, I'm glad you decided to return for chapter 2! Keep reading and don't forget to review!

By the way, I forgot to mention this in my last chapter, but this story is probably going to have a lot worse swearing in it than my other stories. I tried to tone it down, but it's kind of needed for the storyline… Just FYI!

Oh and in case you're curious, this is not supposed to be a sequel or connected in any way to any other story. Just thought you should know that!

**Eleanor's POV**

I gently stroked the side of his face and kissed his cheek. "Wake up."

His eyes gently started to open and he turned to kiss me. "What is it Elle?"

"You were having a nightmare Theodore." I set my face next to his and wrapped my arms around him, "Was it the same one?"

Theodore smiled and kissed me again. "It's find Elle. I was actually having a different dream tonight."

I was shocked. He had been having the same nightmare every night for ten years. "What was it? Was it worse?"

"No. It was wonderful. I was thinking about when we went paintballing together." He smiled, "It was such a wonderful day."

"Yes it was." I took a deep breath, "It was the last good day any of us had."

"I know." He started to cry, "I still can't believe it…"

I held his head close to my shoulder as he cried. "I know Theodore. Just let it out."

"What about you Elle?"

I looked at Theodore and smiled, "What? I've moved on."

"No you haven't Elle. When's the last time you slept?"

"I sleep every night."

"No you don't. Stop lying Elle. You used to have the nightmares too and then you just stopped sleeping. You lay down with me but you stay up almost every night."

He was right. I never realized he noticed I was awake. "How did you know?"  
>"Every night for ten years, I wake up to you stroking my cheek. You've been doing it every night, all night. You just sit there and stare at me."<p>

"I'm sorry." I started to cry as well and he put his arms around me.

"There's no need to apologize, but you can't pretend that everything's alright. Neither of us can."

"Come on Theodore, let's get some breakfast."

The two of us walked to the kitchen and sat down. Nothing was easy anymore. Everything seemed to remind us of that day. "What do you want this morning?"

"I don't care Elle."

"Pancakes?"

"No." Theodore turned and cried.

"I'm sorry Theo. I keep forgetting. How about some fruit?"

He wiped the tears from his face, "That's fine Elle."

I felt so guilty about reminding him. Of course, it was hard to do anything anymore. Every single thing we did seemed to remind Theodore. I sat down with Theo and handed him his bowl of fruit. He pushed it around with his face pressed against his hand. "Aren't you hungry Theodore?"

"It's red. Just like…"

"I'm sorry Theo. How about an orange?"

"Okay."

Part of me was getting tired of it, but I understood. Even though the years went by since it happened, Theodore couldn't forget it. "How's this?"

"Good." He started to eat, "I'm sorry I'm such a pain Elle. I just don't like to think about Alvin."

I put my hand on his shoulder as he ate, "I know Theo. None of us do."

The two of us sat in silence and ate. After we finished, we walked in the living room and sat on the couch. "So Theodore, what are you doing today while I'm at work?"

"I dunno. Can you drop me off at Simon's house?"

I hated to leave Theodore with Simon. It wasn't that I didn't love my family, but ever since it happened, spending time with Simon just made Theodore worse. I didn't like him being around Simon anymore. He was a bad influence. "Okay, but this time…"

"Don't worry Eleanor. I won't let him bother me. I just haven't seen him in a few days and I figure I should see how he's doing." He leaned back in his seat, "So are you going to see Brittany today?"

"Damn." I screamed, "I forgot it's my day."

"Maybe Jeanette can go today."

"No. She has an appointment today. I guess I'll just have to cancel my overtime I put in for."

"But Elle, we need the money."

"Well I don't have a choice Theo."

"Maybe…"

I cut him off, "Theo you know I can't do that."

Theodore sighed, "Well, why don't you drop her off at Simon's house. We'll all spend the day together."

I started to laugh, "The three of you together? Oh please, like I'd let that happen."

"Well…"

"Forget it Theo. I'll take care of it."

I bent towards him and kissed him on the cheek. "Come on, I have to get to work if I'm gonna babysit Brittany tonight."

The two of us got ready and got in the car. "You're sure you'll be alright at Simon's?"

"I can handle myself Eleanor. Don't worry." Suddenly Theodore's cell phone rang. "Hello?"

He hung up the phone and shook his head at me. "That was Simon."

"Damn it."

I turned the car around and headed towards where Simon worked. There was only one thing we ever got a call from Simon about, and it was never good news.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Missing You**

**Jeanette's POV**

The alarm rang. I woke up and slowly rolled over to see my husband. Then I noticed he wasn't there. I jumped out of bed. "Son of a bitch." Today was Simon's day off, which meant I had to get up before him, or I knew what would happen. Luckily I got up before it was too late.

"Stop right there Simon."

"Damn it Jean, just leave me alone."

"Hand it over."

He turned around and gave it to me. "Jean, please. It's my day off."

"And maybe I'd like to spend one morning with you on your day off where you weren't already drinking. Now can't we have just one breakfast without your scotch?"

"Fine, but only until after breakfast."

I sighed. That was just about the best promise I could get out of Simon anymore. "Simon, when are you going to stop drinking?"

He turned to me, "Jean, we've talked about this to death. It helps me to relax. I'm just a casual drinker, so just leave me alone about it." He started to eat, "Let's just eat breakfast, okay?"

"Simon, the only way you're a casual drinker, is if by casual drinker you mean that you casually drink every time your hand is empty. Now you have to stop this."

"Or what Jean?"

I was so frustrated. We had this fight every single week on his day off. "Why do you have to start so early?"

"It's my day off. It's the only day I can have something to drink early in the morning. Every other day I have to worry about my stupid job."

"It isn't a stupid job. You're a doctor."

"Jean, I'm a glorified receptionist. I would hardly call what I do every day being a doctor."

I held his hand, "If you'd quit drinking, the hospital would probably take you off suspension. Why don't you just go to one more meeting?"

"I've gone enough. Just stop it Jean."

I started to cry, "What are you trying to do, kill yourself?" Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my face. I turned my head and saw Simon crying.

"I'm sorry Jean, I didn't mean…"

"You hit me… You've gotten angry, but you've never hit me before."

"It's just…"

"What is it Simon? What the hell is going on with you?"

"It's what you just said?"

I was confused. I didn't even remember what I said. "What did I say that made you so upset all of the sudden?"

He took a deep breath, "You asked me if I was trying to kill myself."

I began to cry. I didn't even realize what I said. "Oh my God. I'm so sorry Simon. I didn't think. I didn't mean to remind you about Alvin."

"It's okay Jean. I'm the one who's sorry. I'll go back to AA. I didn't mean to hit you… I'm so sorry Jeanette." He leaned his head against his hand and his tears fell to the table. "I just can't stop thinking about Alvin. I just can't stop think about how he…"

"I know Simon. Alvin's suicide was a horrible time for everybody, but we all need to move on."

"How can you of all people say that Jeanette?"

I turned my head, "I know. I'm no better than any of us. But for me it's different. I feel… never mind."

"Responsible?"

"Just forget it Simon. I have a meeting to get to."

"What is this meeting anyway?"

I looked at his wide eyes. I felt so guilty for keeping it a secret. "I'm meeting with my old professor."

"Damn it Jean, we talked about this."

"I know Simon. But we have to do it."

Simon stood up and flipped over his chair. "I'm not going to see some psychiatrist. I hate psychiatrists."

"You live with one, Simon."

"That's different, you're my wife."

"And I'm not exactly a psychiatrist anymore."

He walked towards me and hugged me, "Jean, it's just…"

His phone rang and interrupted us. "Hello?"

Suddenly he slammed the phone shut. "It's Brittany again."

"Damn it!" I yelled. "Come on let's get there quick. Call Theodore and have them meet us at the hospital."

"Okay. I'll drive." He yelled.

"You can't. Remember the DUI?"

"I forgot. Okay, let's just get down there quick."

The two of us arrived at the hospital and saw Eleanor and Theodore.

I ran up and hugged my sister, "How is she?"

Eleanor wiped the tears from her face, "She's fine."

I pulled my sister away, "Elle, I think all five of us need to see someone together."

"Is that was your meeting was about?"

I shook my head, "Yeah."

"Maybe. At least the three of…"

"Eleanor, you aren't fooling anybody. When's the last time you slept?"

"I got a few hours tonight."

I smiled, "Well then I guess Theodore's cheek must have missed you."

She smiled, "You're no better. When are you going to start seeing patients again? It's been ten years?"

"That's why we all need to talk to someone. We need to sort through this. You know some day I'm not going to be able to switch Brittany's pills in time and she's really going to do it."

"I know Jean. There's just some stuff about Alvin… some things I haven't really worked through."

"That's the point Elle. We all have things we've been keeping to ourselves, and maybe this will help us."

"I'll talk to Theodore about it. How'd Simon take it?"

A tear fell down my face, "Not too well. He did say he'd go back to AA, but when I brought up the psychiatrist, he got upset."

"Well at least he says he'll go back to the meetings. Maybe that means he's starting to get ready to move past what Alvin did."

"I doubt it, but I hope so." I hugged my sister, "Elle, I just don't want to lose him."

Eleanor pulled me back. "Did he hit you?"

"No. Why…"

"Jean. Your face is all red. Why did he hit you?"

"It's nothing Elle. I misspoke. He apologized…"

"Damn it Jean, he had no right."

I started to cry, "I know Elle. But it wasn't him. I have to believe that Simon will be back to me. I still love him. It isn't him talking anymore, it's the alcohol. It's his feelings. I'll be fine."

I walked away.

"Has he hit you before?"

I stopped and turned around, "No. This was the first time. If it happens again, I'll tell you, okay?"

"If it happens again, you're calling the police."

I shook my head, "Elle, what's happened to our family?"

"It fell apart, Jean. One of us was taken away from us, and everything else fell apart."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow… Alvin is dead and the Seville's have all gone nuts. What the heck is going on? I know one way to find out… KEEP WATCHING FOR UPDATES! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Broken Hearts**

A/N: I'm glad so many people are enjoying this story! Well, I hope you enjoy these two chapters.

Have to address Miss Hal Gibson's comment… Is that really the impression I gave you after my last story? Am I that unpredictable? Am I that insane? (Thinks back to a few cliffhangers) Well, actually, I guess I am. I guess we'll have to find out just how nuts I am by enjoying the rest of the story!

Please review!

**Simon's POV**

It was the one patient I still had. Well, I guess she wasn't really my patient anymore. I didn't have a medical license because of, well, what happened last year. Anyway, the chief of staff couldn't let me have any more patients, but he did let me take care of Brittany when she was in here. That was mainly because of the circumstances.

Brittany went into a deep depression after Alvin's suicide. Well, we all went into a deep depression, but for her it was worse. She became suicidal, just like Alvin was. The first time was only a few days after Alvin's death. Luckily she survived that first attempt. Ever since then, Jean has been able to prevent any actual attempts.

Brittany only ever tried one way of killing herself. Nobody knows why, but she doesn't try anything else. She always tries to overdose. So, Jean got in the practice of filling all of her bottles of pills in the cabinet with placebos and a couple of sleeping pills. When Brittany would try to kill herself, she'd just go to sleep instead. Then we'd keep her in the hospital for a few days, tell her how lucky she was, and send her back to counseling.

The good part of this was it kept her out of danger, but we were afraid she was getting used to living through her attempts. Maybe that's why she kept trying, because deep inside she didn't think it would ever actually work. I think subconsciously she knew what we were doing, and this was some way of getting attention and dealing with her pain.

Anyway, that's why she was still my patient; because nothing was ever actually wrong with Brittany. She slowly started to wake up while I sat by her side. "No." She cried, "God damn it, why am I still here."

"Hi Brittany." I grabbed her hand, "You're in the hospital again."

Tears fell to both sides of her face. "Why can't you people just let me die? I just want to be with Alvin. Just let me do it. Simon, please don't make me do this anymore."

"Brittany, we love you. We're not going to let you do this to yourself. We're going to keep saving you, no matter how many times you do this."

"Just get the fuck out of here Simon. Just leave me alone. I'm begging you, please leave me alone."

I put my arm behind Brittany's head, "I'm not doing that Brittany. Alvin wouldn't want me to leave you alone, and I'm not going to."

She turned and spit in my face. "Don't ever say that name to me again!" She screamed, "I never want to hear his name again!"

I wiped my face, "Brittany it isn't what he would want. I love you, Jeanette loves you, we all love you, and we aren't going to let you keep doing this."

She sat up, "What are you going to do Simon?"

"Brittany… I want you to come and live with me and Jeanette."

She sat up, "I'm not leaving that house. I'll never leave that house."

I grabbed her hand, "Brittany, I have to talk to you about the house."

"No!" She screamed, "You bastard!"

"Brittany, Jeanette's not working, Theo isn't working, Elle is down to part time at the store, and I'm down to a desk clerk, we can't afford to keep paying for that big house anymore."

She slammed her head against the bed, "Damn you! That's Alvin's house. How could you…"

"Please Brittany. Don't make this harder than it is."

"You won't get me to leave that home. You'll never get me to leave." She turned her head so I couldn't see the tears pouring down her cheeks, "Please don't do this to me, Simon. I miss him."

"We all do Brittany. I'm so sorry."

She turned to me, "Simon?"

"What is it Brittany?"

"Why don't you and Jean come and live with me instead? Then we could keep the house."

"Brittany, that house is huge. Even if all five of us and Dave and Ms. Miller moved in, we still couldn't afford the payments anymore. It isn't going to happen. We've all drained our savings trying to keep it, but there just isn't a way. I'm sorry."

Brittany pressed her face against the pillow and continued to cry.

"Damn it." I whispered to myself, "Brittany, I can't make any promises, but maybe we can make the payments if we just rent it out. Then someday you can move back in."

She flipped over and hugged me, "Oh thank you Simon. Thank you so much. I'll go back to work. I'll help pay for it."

I smiled and kissed her on the head, "Brittany, we both know that isn't going to happen, but it's a nice thought."

She smiled and pulled away, "Do you really think we can find a renter?"

"I don't know Brittany, but I'll try."

Brittany looked up at me from her bed, "So I'm going to be living at your house now?"

"Yes Brittany. You're coming to live with us now."

She laid her head on her pillow and started to fall asleep, "That'll be nice."

As she fell asleep, I stood up and pulled the sheets over her shoulder. I began to think out loud. "Alvin, why did you leave us? She needs you so bad right now."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Getting Help**

**Eleanor's POV**

That day was just like every other day of the year. I sat up until two or three in the morning stroking Theodore's face, and then finally fell asleep for an hour before waking back up.

I set my hand around my husband and continued my morning ritual. I don't know why I did it. I have no idea why I continually stroked his cheek, but it just relaxed me. I guess feeling his warmth and knowing that he was still with me, let me forget about a good friend that wasn't with us anymore. It was the only thing that let me forget about Alvin.

He jumped up pouring sweat from his body. After a minute, he realized where he was. "Oh, good morning Elle."

"Good morning Theodore. Did you have a bad dream again?"

"Yeah… I guess last night's dream was a onetime thing."

I moved close to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "It's okay Theo. Let's go have breakfast."

The two of us walked in the kitchen and he sat down. "What do you want this morning?"

"Whatever…"

I felt guilty for it, but I had no choice. "Theo, I'm going to make us a nice breakfast, why don't you go take a shower."

"Okay Eleanor." He walked towards the bathroom.

I made breakfast and sat down. My eyes quickly shut as I heard Theodore coming. I was so nervous about how he was going to react.

He sat down at the table. He was wiping his eyes with a small towel. "So what's for break…" He stopped as he pulled the towel away from his face. "Elle, why did you make this?"

"Because it's your favorite."

He flipped the table over, "Damn it Elle, it isn't my favorite. It's Alvin's favorite. I told you I never want pancakes again!"

I couldn't believe his reaction. He always told me he didn't want pancakes, but I had no idea that it was going to be the start of a world war. "Theo, look at you. You're throwing a table full of food and breaking our dishes all over breakfast. This isn't healthy."

He sat down in his chair and sobbed. "You just don't understand Eleanor. That's what I… just stop it. You don't know what I… you have no idea that I… just please leave me alone."

He ran off into the bedroom, and I followed behind him. "Theodore! Please talk to me!"

"No Eleanor. I can't talk to you about this." He started to slam the door shut, but I stopped him.

"Theo, you don't have to talk to me, but you need to talk to someone."

Theodore collapsed to the ground, "Please don't make me go Eleanor. Please don't make me go!"

I knelt down to the ground behind him and put my arms around him. "I love you Theodore, but I'm losing you. We're all falling apart. Jeanette talked to a friend of hers, and he's arranged for an excellent psychiatrist to speak with all of us."

Theo turned around and looked up at me with his wet, tear covered face. "All of us? Even Simon and Brittany?"

"Even if we have to drag them in by their feet, kicking and screaming, we're all going."

A smile formed across his face. "I'm sorry Eleanor. I really am."

"Are you hungry Theodore?"

He slowly shook his head.

I smiled and kissed him on the forehead, "Let's go have an orange."

"Thanks Elle."

I sat my husband on the coach and fed him his breakfast. Suddenly the phone rang. "I'll get it Theodore."

I picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi Eleanor, it's Jean."

"Hi Jeanette. What's going on?"

She sighed, "Simon wimped out."

"Damn it. What did he do?"

"He told her we'd rent it out."

"Doesn't he get it? She needs to move on."

"I know that, but he's holding on just as bad as she is. Did you talk to Theo yet?"

"After he tossed a table across the room, he agreed to go."

"Theo? Tossing a table?"

I hesitantly continued, "I may have made him pancakes."

There was a brief silence before Jeanette replied, "Eleanor, you shouldn't have done that."

"Well I just had to know what was going on. Every morning he reminds me not to make pancakes. I never even knew what that had to do with Alvin. But it worked. Now he's going to go to the shrink."

"It's a psychiatrist."

"Whatever."

"How about you?"

"I'm going. Did you talk to Simon about it?"

"He said he'll go." There was a loud scream through the phone. "I have to go Elle."

"You didn't empty his liquor cabinet again, did you?"

"Well…"

"And you were insulting me about the pancakes."

"Goodbye Elle…"

I hung up the phone and sat next to Theodore.

He smiled as he shoved the last piece of fruit into his mouth, "Liquor cabinet?"

"Yup."

"I'm glad I'm not there right now…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, Brittany's out of her mind… Simon's a drunk… Jeanette quit her job… Elle's an insomniac… and Theo's just plain wacky… you got to know therapy should be interesting with this group…**

**Keep watching for updates and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Jeanette's Life**

A/N: Well, I'm starting to get reviews begging me to actually tell the story… like I said, my stories have very mysterious, twisted plots, so it'll drive you nuts, but in the end, it'll be worth it.

Anyway, keep up the reviewing! I hope all of you are enjoying reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it!

**Jeanette's POV**

I stared up at the ceiling from the small leather couch. I never realized just how uncomfortable it was to be on this side of the room. "Doctor? Have you ever been to therapy yourself?"

"Well Jeanette, I don't think that's really an appropriate question."

"No… I'm just asking because I'm realizing how awful these couches are. If I ever go back to my practice, I'm getting a chair or something." I sat up, "That thing is just terrible."

He smiled, "Really? I guess I've never really been in one."

He walked over to the couch and I took his chair. "I think it's kind of comfortable." He turned towards me, "You really think it's not?"

I pulled out a pad of paper, "Yeah, but how does it feel when I'm sitting here staring at you with a notepad?"

He stopped for a moment and looked towards the ceiling. "You're right, I need a chair." He sat up and we returned to our original spots. "I don't know who the heck came up with this couch thing." He stared into space for a moment, "oh right, we were talking about your brother."

I guess I had changed the subject before because I didn't want to think about it. But I had to say something. I leaned back against the couch again. "So where do you want me to start?"

"Well Jean, you're a psychiatrist, why don't you tell me where you would have a patient start."

"I guess at how life was before it happened."

"Okay, that sounds good. So what was your life like?"

I took a deep breath, "It was wonderful. Everything was. Simon and I had been married for five years when it happened. I'll never forget the day he proposed to me."

_-Flashback-_

_It was in September and it seemed like it was just an ordinary date. But then when I heard him knock at the door and went to answer, I realized how special that day was going to be._

"_Simon?"_

"_Hello Jeanette."_

"_Why are you so dressed up?"_

"_For our date."_

_I smiled, "I thought we were just going to dinner."_

"_We are, but you're worth getting dressed up for."_

"_Well I should change."_

"_No Jeanette. I don't want you to. You look amazing. Besides, I can't stand the thought of you leaving me, even if it's only to run up and change clothes."_

"_Okay Simon, but you're sure?"_

"_Absolutely Jeanette. I'm sure about everything."_

_I was confused at that point, but at dinner, everything made sense. He brought me to my favorite restaurant. It was a little seafood place. Nothing fancy, but it had the most amazing view of the ocean. It was a little from the city, but it was such an amazing sight._

"_Simon, you didn't have to take me all the way out here for dinner."_

_He ignored me, "Jeanette?"_

"_What Simon?"_

"_Are you happy?"_

"_Right now?"_

"_No. Your everyday life. Are you happy with us dating?"_

"_Of course I am. I love dating you."_

_I grabbed my hand, "Well I hate it."_

"_What?"_

"_Dating you is horrible. It's the worst thing that could happen to a person."_

_I started to cry, "Are you breaking up with me?"_

"_No. But I won't date you anymore. I can't stand leaving at night. Not one more time. You're too beautiful to leave on the doorstep again Jeanette. I never want to leave your side. So please Jean, tell me that you'll stop being my girlfriend, and tell me that you'll start being my wife. Will you marry me?"_

_At first I couldn't compute what he said. It was so much to take in. "Simon, I… yes. Yes I'll marry you."_

_He pulled out a small jewelry box and put a ring on my finger. "Thank you Jean. I'm don't deserve that answer, but thank you."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"That sounds very romantic."

"He was always so romantic then. I'll never forget this one time the six of us went to play paintball. I had an accident with my gun and shot myself. He was so cute."

_-Flashback-_

_The six of us were driving home. I was bruised from head to toe, after all, I had been shot with seventeen frozen paintballs. The entire ride, Simon had his arm wrapped around me._

"_Jeanette?"_

"_What is it Simon?"_

"_Are you sure you're okay, we can stop at the hospital on the way home?"_

"_I'm fine Simon. You're the only doctor I need."_

_Simon leaned his head against my shoulder, "Jeanette?"_

"_What is it Simon?"_

"_Can you promise me something?"_

"_Anything."_

"_Promise me you'll never get an actual gun."_

_I smiled and kissed his head, "Don't worry Simon. I won't."_

"_Good. I love you so much Jean, but you are so clumsy."_

"_I love you too Simon."_

_He pulled me head down to his lips and kissed me. Then he stared into my eyes, "Jean, I don't know what my life would be like without you."_

_I smiled, "I know what mine would be like without you Simon."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Empty."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"Why is it that you're thinking about this memory?"

"I don't know… it's just that day was so wonderful. We were all together."

"How long was this before Alvin's death?"

"A week."

"Were you very close to Alvin?"

I sighed, "Not really."

"Why did it bother you so much when he died?"

A tear fell down my cheek, "Doctor, nobody realizes this, but I'm responsible for what he did."

"Jeanette, you aren't resp…"

"Yes I am. You don't know what I did. I made a mistake. And it cost Alvin his life."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Jeanette's Guilt**

**Jeanette's POV**

I sat up in the couch, "Doctor…" I sighed. How could I tell him what I did? I hadn't told anybody the mistake I had made since it first happened. I never even told Simon.

People always asked me why I stopped working after Alvin died. They couldn't understand why that made my entire life change. They couldn't understand how the death of a person I hardly talked to had such a devastating impact on my life. But nobody else understood me at all anymore.

I knew I had to tell him the truth. I knew that I had to finally tell somebody my story. I couldn't tell my family. If they knew the mistake I had made, I would lose them all. Simon and Brittany would never forgive me for causing Alvin's death.

"Jeanette, you know what you tell me is completely confidential, right?"

I shook my head, "it's just hard to think about."

"Well take your time."

I took a deep breath. "Well…

_-Flashback-_

_It was three days before Alvin died. I had been a psychiatrist for about two years then. I had a small office, with only a couple of patients at the time, but I absolutely loved my work._

_I was with a patient at the time,_

_The door shot open, "Jeanette, we need to talk."_

"_Alvin? I'm with a patient?"_

"_It's important Jeanette."_

_I looked at the clock, "Well Mr. Tompkins, we're just about out of time anyway, come in a little early next time and we'll pick up where we left off, okay?"_

"_O-Okay." He walked out of the room._

"_Now Alvin, what is it?"_

"_I-It's nothing Jean."_

_I was so upset with Alvin. "I just got rid of a patient to talk to you and now you have nothing to say?"_

"_I have to..." he stopped himself, "Jean, if you were my psychiatrist, everything I told you would be confidential, right?"_

"_Right?"_

"_Do you think you could take me on as a patient?"_

_I was stunned. Alvin was not the type of person to ask for help. He was the type of person to bottle everything up inside. "Alvin, I can recommend somebody, but…"_

_He flipped around, "No Jean. It has to be you. Please, I'm begging you. I need you to be my psychiatrist."_

"_I can't Alvin."_

"_I'm not asking for it to be free, I'll pay. I'll pay double if I have to, but please Jean, it's important…"_

"_Alvin, you can come talk to me whenever you want, but you're my brother in law, and it wouldn't be proper for me to be your therapist. I can give you a few names, but…"_

_He started to stare out the window, "Never mind Jena. It's nothing, just please don't tell anybody I was here. Please Jean." He ran out of the building._

_I never saw him like this. I didn't know what was wrong with him. He acted panicked, but I just didn't know. I never did find out what he wanted to tell me, but maybe if I would have listened, he would have made a different decision._

_-End of Flashback-_

"You see doctor?" I said through my tears, "If I just would have taken him on as a patient, he would have had the help he needed, but I ignored him, and he…"

"Jeanette, you aren't responsible for what he did, and that's what you need to work on understanding. You did what your professional ethics told you to do, and you can't blame yourself for that. You had no idea what was going to happen."

"I know that on face, but I still can't help but think… think that he would have lived."

"Tell me about the day he died."

"Well, actually I don't know much of what happened."

"You don't?"

"No. I was at work when it happened. When I was there, I got a call from Simon."

_-Flashback-_

_The phone rang and I picked it up, "Hello, this is Dr. Jeanette Seville how can I…"_

"_Jean, it's Simon."_

"_Are you crying Simon?"_

"_It's Alvin, Jean."_

_I started to shake. Part of me suspected what happened, even before he told me. "What happened Simon?"_

"_Jean, Alvin is d-d-dead."_

_I pulled the phone away so Simon couldn't hear me whimper. "I'm so sorry Simon. God I am so sorry. What happened?" I immediately regretted the question. Part of it was that I didn't want to know and part of it was that I didn't want Simon to have to tell me._

"_He shot himself. He killed himself. Jean, Alvin committed suicide, and I just don't know why. God Jean, I can't believe it, my brother's dead."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"That's all I really know about that night. None of my family will talk about it. All I know is that he shot himself and he died before the ambulance came. I don't know why he did it or what exactly happened, but I know that I am responsible."

**A/N: So we still don't know what exactly happened to Alvin… but we know that Jean feels responsible… I wonder why everybody else has gone nutsy? I guess you'll find out… that is… if you WATCH FOR UPDATES! Please keep reviewing!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Jeanette's Future**

A/N: Well, sorry about the slight delay. I hope you enjoy and please review!

**Jeanette's POV**

It wasn't easy to think about Alvin. I guess I finally understood how patients felt in a psychiatrist's office. It was hard to look at someone and tell them your life story, particularly when part of that life was so devastating.

I guess I understood why Simon didn't want to do this. I didn't even want to do this anymore. I hadn't told anybody about my part in Alvin's death since it happened. I guess that's why I had to be there, no matter how hard it was.

"Jeanette?"

I looked up at the doctor, "Yes?"

"Why don't you tell me what your life has been like since it happened?"

I leaned my head back and shut my eyes, "Different."

"How so?"

"Well there's Simon."

"What's wrong with Simon?"

"He's so different."

"Different from what?"

"From how he was before."

"How has he changed?"

"Well… he started drinking, and I guess that's what changed him a lot. He was upset after… Alvin…"

"Why do you have so much trouble saying what he did?"

I thought about the question for a moment. As I began to answer, a tear fell down my cheek. "I've just never liked to think about it. I mean… I don't understand… that is… I don't know what was so bad that he had to do that. He seemed so happy all the time. It just shouldn't have happened."

"So have you ever talked to Simon about it?"

"No. Like I said, he's so different."

The doctor set down his paper, "Do you find it harder to talk to him?"

My hand started to shake, "It's just… he's so angry all the time."

"Does he hurt you?"

"No. Well… yes. Once."

"Why?"

"I told him he was killing himself by drinking, and it reminded him of… Alvin."

"Were there any other times?"

I stayed silent.

"Jeanette?"

"No. Not on purpose."

"When did he hurt you?"

_-Flashback-_

"_Simon, you need to stop it."_

_He slowly lifted his head from the back of the coach. "Will you just shut up already?"_

"_Please?"_

_Simon threw his glass against the wall and there was a loud crash behind me. "Just get the hell out of here."_

"_Simon, you can't keep drinking like this. It's been a month since…"_

_He kicked the coffee table and stood up, "Don't you fucking talk about it… don't you understand?"_

_I heard the doorbell ring and quickly wiped the tears from my face before opening the door._

_Eleanor began to walk in. "Hello Je… What the hell happened here?"_

"_It's nothing Elle. Right now isn't really a good time."_

"_You got that right. Now get the hell out of here Eleanor."_

_Eleanor turned around to see Simon sprawled out on the couch. "Simon, are you drunk?"_

_Simon lifted his head from the couch, "That's a pretty stupid question even for Theodore's wife."_

_I walked over, "I'm sorry Elle. Simon, apologize to Elle."_

"_I'm sorry your husband's so stupid."_

_Eleanor ran out the door in tears._

"_Damn it Simon, he's your brother, why would you say something like that?"_

_He slowly leaned up, "Like what?"_

"_Don't you even listen to yourself when you talk?"_

_He grabbed the bottle and poured another glass._

"_Are you even listening to me?"_

"_Damn it. Go get me another bottle, this one's empty."_

"_Simon you've had enough."_

"_Just get it!" He screamed swing his arm to the side. The bottle flew out of his hand and hit me in the face._

_Eleanor walked back in through the open door, "Jeanette I… What the hell did he do?" She ran over and helped me off the floor, "Jean, you're bleeding."_

"_It was an accident," I quickly answered, "It was nothing."_

"_Jean he…"_

_I looked up at her winching my eye, "Elle, drop it. It was an accident."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"And that was the only other time?"

"Yes. But it was an accident. It just slipped out of his hand. I've hurt him enough times by accident."

The doctor sat up, "If it wasn't a big deal, then why did you bring it up?"

"You asked…"

"I asked if he hurt you. You singled this out from any other time he may have bumped into you or hurt you by accident. Why?"

"Well… it was his drinking…"

"Is that all?"

"It was what he said… about Eleanor and Theodore. It's just, it was unlike him. That was the first time he ever got really drunk. He started drinking a little right after it happened, but that day, he came home and just kept drinking glass after glass. He wouldn't stop."

"Did he drink like that afterwards?"

I sat up on the couch and thought about the past years, "Sometimes, but never as bad as that day. He would get a little drunk and say some things he'd regret, but that day he couldn't control himself at all."

"How has the rest of your family reacted to Simon?"

I leaned my head against the back of the couch, "Terrible. Eleanor's been upset with him ever since that day. She doesn't talk to him and she tries to keep Theo away from him too."

The doctor leaned forward, "Tries? So Theo doesn't have a problem with Simon?"

"No. He loves his brother, it's the only brother he has. But when the two of them are together…"

"What?"

"Well, when they're together, Simon gets mean."

"Is that when he drinks?"

"Well I guess it's no mystery. When they're together, they think of Alvin, so Simon drinks, and then he gets angry."

He sighed, "Well what does he do when he gets angry around Theodore?"

"He's just so mean. He'll start calling him names and saying horrible things. And he always brings up…"

"What?"

"Well, Eleanor. When he's sober, he's fine, but when he's drunk he always brings up Eleanor. He insults her and attacks her. I just don't understand why."

"Did Eleanor do something to him?"

"No…"

"Did she do something to Alvin?"

"No. I just don't know what it is."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Together**

**Theodore's POV**

My eyes started to open, and I felt a hand on my cheek. I quickly reached up and grabbed the hand. "Eleanor, I love you."

I didn't hear anything from Eleanor's side of the bed, so I turned around. "Elle?"

"I'm sorry Theodore, did I wake you?"

"Eleanor, I was talking to you and you ignored me? What's wrong?"

"Today's Simon's day off. Can you please just stay home today?"

"Eleanor, I always spend today with him."

"Theodore, I can't handle it anymore. I know you love him but he's not your brother anymore. That Simon is gone."

I didn't even realize I was crying, but I started to feel the tears falling from my face. I loved Eleanor so much, and I knew she was sort of right, but I couldn't just leave Simon alone. "I know he's different Eleanor, but he's still my brother. He's the only brother I…" I couldn't finish the sentence. I fell back into my bed.

"I know Theo. Let's get some breakfast okay?"

"Okay Eleanor."

The two of us walked into the kitchen and sat down. "What do you want today Theodore?"

"Whatever." Breakfast was a hard time for me. Everything seemed to remind me of Alvin. I hated that I was such a pain to Elle, but I didn't like to think of a lot of things. I didn't want to think of Alvin. "Elle?"

"What Theodore?"

"Is it bad that I don't like to think of him?"

She sat down next to me and put her arm around me, "No. You miss him and you…"

"But shouldn't I like remembering the good days?"

She grabbed my hand, "Oh Theo… even the good memories can be upsetting, because you're remembering when things were better, so you think of how things are now."

"I guess."

She kissed my cheek. "Theo, can I ask you something kind of personal?"

"Sure Elle, you're my wife. What is it?"

She scooted her chair closer to me and put her arm back around me. "Theo, why do you keep going to Simon's?"

"I told you it's because…"

"No. That's not what I mean. He's awful to you. And me. And Jeanette even. He's so mean all the time, but you keep going over there. Why?"

I sighed. "I don't know Elle, but it's nice to go and see him. We don't really talk much, but when I'm there, I sort of like to think of Alvin. It's the only time I think about when we were kids. I guess when I see Simon, I start thinking of all the stupid things we did when we were little." Eleanor kissed me again. "Elle? Can I ask you a question now?"

"Sure Theo."

"Why do you spend so much time with Brittany?"

"I don't want to, but I have…"

"Elle… I was honest with you."

"I can't explain it. Not even to you. I'm so sorry Theodore, but I'm just not ready to talk about it." She pulled away and leaned her head against her hand.

"Forget it Eleanor, you can tell me when you're ready. Let's eat our oranges today, okay?"

Eleanor smiled, "Okay."

As we finished our breakfast, the two of us sat at the table and talked. "Eleanor, I'm really sorry about how I've been acting."

"I know Theodore, but you don't have to be. I don't mind it." She smiled, "I don't understand it, but I don't mind it."

"Thanks. Maybe it would be easier for both of us though if I…"

"You don't have to Theodore." Eleanor grabbed my hand and kissed it. "It's so sweet, but you don't have to do that."

"I know it would be hard for me but…"

Eleanor squeezed my hand, "Theo, you've tried to go back to work before. You don't have to. I love that you're willing, but we both know that you aren't ready to go back to work."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. Now I have to get to work, and you have to get to Simon's house. Are you sure you're going to be okay there?"

I smiled and kissed Elle, "You ask me that every time. I'm fine. I can handle Simon."

The two of us got in the car and my phone rang. My hand started to shake. "Elle… it's Simon…"

Eleanor pulled the car over and I answered… "Hello?"

"It's Simon."

"What is it? Is Brittany okay?"

"She's fine, but you can't come over today."

"Why not?"

"Just please don't." The line went dead.

"What was that about?" Eleanor asked, "How's Brittany?"

"I don't know. He just told me I couldn't come over, and didn't explain why."

Eleanor turned the car around, "It's okay Theodore, let's just spend the day together."

"But you have work."

"I'll call in sick. I haven't spent the day with you in a long time."

As the two of us walked into the house, I put my arm around Eleanor, "This'll be nice."

"Yeah. Just the two of us together."

"Elle?"

"What Theo."

"I'm hungry."

Eleanor squeezed me, "What do you want?"

"I don't care."

Eleanor smiled, "I'll get the oranges."

"Thanks Elle."

**A/N: So why is Simon such a jerk? I mean… he's my favorite character, so why am I making him so darn mean? What did Elle do to offend him? Why the heck won't Theo eat anything but oranges? Is he on some sort of strange diet? I guess you'll just have to watch for updates and see… Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Eleanor's Life**

A/N: Sorry guys! I missed yesterday and I only have one chapter to post now… (Real Life Issues) I know I still update fast, but I still feel guilty… Anyway, I'm going to get two more chapters up tonight (Assuming the site stays working…) Please enjoy this chapter and please leave a review!

**Eleanor's POV**

"Eleanor?"

"Hmm… what?" I looked up startled at the sound of his voice.

"Eleanor, you fell asleep again."

"I'm sorry doctor. Where were we?"

He tapped his pencil against a pad of paper, "We were talking about what it was like before."

"Right." I stretched a little from my short nap and continued my story.

_-Flashback-_

_I never really felt that close to Alvin. I think about him all the time now, but at that time I didn't feel close to him. That's why that day was so special to me._

"_Do you have anything to say before you die?" I smiled at him, trying to keep a straight face during the battle._

"_No. Take the shot. I don't care." He turned his head to the side and forced out a fake tear, "Tell Brittany I love her."_

_Then I shot him with my paintball gun._

_When he got hit he jumped to the side in pain. "Damn Eleanor that hurt!"_

_Later that day we were all driving back to our homes together. When we got to mine and Theodore's house, we all decided to come in and have a cup of coffee._

"_I hope I didn't hurt you too bad Alvin."_

"_It's fine Eleanor." He turned to Brittany, "Of course, I do have another part of me that is hurting pretty bad because of somebody…"_

_Brittany giggled, "Oh, does the widdle baby got some pain in his tushy?"_

_Alvin rolled his eyes, "You're hysterical Brittany."_

"_I know." She quickly answered._

_Alvin turned his head towards me ignoring Brittany, "So Elle, how's it like being married to Theo?"_

"_Wonderful." I answered, "It's absolute paradise. We get to spend time together and cook together and snuggle up on the couch together and…"_

"_That's okay Elle. I really don't need all the details of your love life." Alvin quipped._

_Brittany smacked Alvin on the back of the head, "I don't think Elle was going to tell you about that Alvin..." Suddenly Brittany got a strange look on her face and turned to me, "You weren't right?"_

"_No!" I shouted, "You two are disgusting."_

_Theodore walked in with several cups of coffee, "Okay everybody!" He sat down next to us. "So what were the three of you talking about?"_

"_Well…" Brittany put her hand over Alvin's mouth, "Nothing Theodore. Just the weather."_

"_Oh. Well it is nice outside isn't it?"_

_I just thought he was so cute. Everything Theodore said was so… well Theodore. I put my hand on his face and stroked his cheek, "I love you Theo."_

_-End of Flashback-_

The doctor interrupted me from my story. "Why did you tell me about this?"

"Well, it was one of the few times I can remember where I had just pure fun with Alvin. I just think about that day a lot. Why do you ask?"

The doctor tapped his pen against his paper again, "No reason, just curious. You said he called you Elle? Isn't that what your sister calls you?"

"Yeah. Actually both of my sisters call me that a lot, and Theo does too. It was a little strange that he called me that come to think about it, but like I said, that was one of the few times we were really close."

"So tell me more about your life."

"Well let's see… well Theo and I got married eleven years ago. The wedding was so wonderful. Brittany was my maid of honor and…"

"Why did you stop?"

"A-and, Alvin was Theo's best man."

"They were close, weren't they?"

I started to cry, "Yeah. I could get a little mad at Alvin sometimes when he'd get Theo roped into a crazy stunt, but Alvin loved his brother so much. And Theo loved… he…"

"I know. Did you spend a lot of time together?"

"Yeah. We always did things like go paintballing or bowling or whatever else we thought would be fun. Sometimes we'd just all meet at one of our houses and play a board game."

The doctor stared at me for a second, "It sounds like you were all really close."

"Yeah. We were."

"Are you still close?"

"Not at all. We're a broken family. Jeanette and I talk on the phone every once in a while, but it's usually only to schedule staying with Brittany. And when I'm with Brittany, she doesn't talk. We just sit there all day next to each other in silence.

And Simon and Theodore… well they spend time together, but…"

"But what?"

I hesitantly answered, "Theo always comes home in tears. Every time he goes over there he comes home and we sit on the couch and hug. He never tells me what he says to him, but he always comes home crying and telling me he never wants to go there again. By the time Simon has another day off, Theodore's forgiven him and he wants to see him."

"So he's never told you about what Simon does?"

"No. But I do know what it's about. It's about me."

"Why do you know that?"

"Theodore doesn't get upset when people insult him. And…"

"What is it?"

"Well… I haven't told anybody this, but I'm the reason Alvin is…"

"What?"

"Why he's dead. And Simon knows this. He knows that I'm responsible for what happened, so he has every right to hate me, but I wish he would be nicer to Theo."

"How did you cause a suicide?"

I closed my eyes, and remembered that horrible day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I wonder what Elle did? Like I said, I'll post two more chapters tonight, but I wanted to give you a chapter now. So check back later today for chapters 11 and 12! Keep watching for updates and please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Eleanor's Guilt**

A/N: Here are the two chapters I promised for tonight! I hope you all enjoy! I'm sorry my posting has been a little more sporadic than usual. Hopefully I'll go back to posting two chapters every day instead of however many chapters whenever I feel like it… Anyway, please enjoy this update and don't forget to review!

**Eleanor's POV**

"Eleanor?"

I remained silent until I felt my arm being shaken.

"Eleanor? Did you fall asleep again?"

"No. It's just…"

The doctor leaned back in his chair, "Take your time Eleanor. Just relax and tell me what happened when you are ready."

I sat in silence for another few seconds, and then I continued. "Well… th-that day I was at home. Theodore had some sort of appointment so he was out of the house. I was just sitting around watching television and the phone rang"

_-Flashback-_

"_Hello?"_

"_H-hi Eleanor. Is Theodore there?"_

"_No Simon. What is it? You sound a little ner…" He cut me off._

"_Can you come over? I know it's short notice but…"_

"_Sure Simon. What is it?"_

_He didn't respond for a second, "It's kind of hard to explain over the phone. I just need you to come over here for about an hour if you can. It's kind of important."_

"_That's no problem Simon. I'm not doing anything…"_

"_Eleanor I really don't have time to talk, I have to go. Just get here when you can okay?"_

"_Ok…" Once he started to hear me say 'okay', he hung up._

_I had to admit the whole thing was pretty strange. Simone wasn't telling me what was going on, and he sounded so nervous on the phone. Plus he was so short with me. I was just concerned about him. So I jumped in my car and drove over as fast as I could. Simon met me outside._

"_Eleanor, thanks for coming."_

"_What's going on Simon?"_

_He walked over, "It's Alvin. I really can't explain it to you, but I need you to stay with him. It's extremely important that you don't let him out of your site, okay?"_

"_Is he okay?"_

_Simon put his hands on my shoulders, "Just listen to me Eleanor. Alvin's life may be in danger. I can't explain how or why, but I have to go to the hospital. I need you to stay with him no matter what, and if anything happens out of the ordinary at all with him, call 9-1-1."_

_I was scared to death. "O-okay."_

_Simon went to his car. I sat down on the couch with Alvin and talked._

"_So Alvin, how…"_

"_Save it Elle. You're here to babysit me, you don't have to try and take my mind off it."_

"_Off what?"_

_Alvin didn't respond at first, "You don't know?"_

"_No I don't. He wouldn't…"_

"_Good. It has to stay that way. I don't want you to know."_

_The rest of the time I was there, we just sat in silence. Suddenly I heard a loud noise and jumped out of the couch. I ran into the kitchen and saw it. Alvin was lying on the floor, bleeding from his head._

"_Oh my God!" I screamed. I grabbed the phone and called 9-1-1. "I need an ambulance." I began to cry, "My brother just shot himself in the head!"_

"_Okay mam, we're sending an ambulance. I need you to keep putting pressure on the wound until they arrive."_

_I dropped down to the floor crying my eyes out. I heard a faint noise from Alvin._

"_Elle."_

"_Alvin don't talk. You're going to be okay."_

"_Elle… Te… Britt… love her."_

"_You tell."_

"_No. You will tell her."_

"_Elle. Aaah." He started to cry as the pain obviously got worse. "It…" Then he stopped speaking._

_The door flung open. "God damn it!" I turned around to see Simon. He grabbed his medical bag and tried to save him, but it was too late. "Damn it Eleanor, I told you to watch him!"_

_I couldn't say anything. He was right. I made a horrible mistake._

_Simon cried as he rocked his brother's body in his arms. "Now he's dead. He's dead Eleanor."_

"_Simon, I…"_

"_Get out."_

_I started to cry, "Si…"_

_Simon bent down and kissed his brother's head, "Eleanor, get the fuck out of my house and don't come back."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"Eleanor, it sounds like an honest mistake."

I sat there shaking, "I haven't told you part of it."

"What is it?"

I couldn't tell him. It was too hard to even think about.

"Eleanor, take your time."

I took a deep breath.

_-Flashback-_

"_Alvin?"_

_He looked up, "What is it Elle?"_

"_Are you going to be okay for a minute? I just want a glass of water."_

"_Sure Elle. I'll be fine."_

_I walked into the other room and got some water. After I poured the glass and set it down I heard a crash. I ran over towards the noise. "What was that Alvin?"_

_Alvin looked around, "It looks like a picture fell. It's no big deal."_

"_How did it fall?"_

"_Who cares Eleanor? Just get your water."_

_I walked back and grabbed the glass and drank it. I had a little headache so I took a pain pill, and well… it kind of made me a little tired._

_I sat back on the couch near Alvin, but a few minutes later, I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was to the sound of the gunshot._

_-End of Flashback-_

"Don't you understand? I took the wrong pain pill. I took something that put me to sleep, and Alvin died because of it… because I was too stupid to read the damn label. Alvin would be here right now if I wouldn't have been so damn stupid."

"And is that why you can't sleep anymore?"

I shook my head, "I hate sleep. All it does is remind me of that day. All it does is keep reminding me of how I killed my brother in law."

"So what has life been like ever since?"

"Hell."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Eleanor's Future**

**Eleanor's POV**

"So where do you want me to start?"

The doctor pulled his pen towards his pad, "Anywhere you like."

"Well, I guess I'll start with Brittany. Like I said, we don't really talk anymore when we're together."

_-Flashback-_

_I knocked on the door. "Brittany? Are you…"_

_The door started to open. "Hi Elle."_

"_Hi Jeanette."_

_Jeanette walked outside and shut the door behind her, "Are you ready for you shift?"_

"_Yeah. You going home?"_

"_No. I have an appointment to get to."_

"_With who?"_

"_I'll tell you later."_

_I smiled, "Okay Jean."_

_Jeanette walked away, "Tell Theo I said hello!"_

"_Will do." I walked into the house. "Damn it Brittany!"_

_Brittany stopped what she was doing._

_I walked towards her and yanked the bottle from her hands. "I was outside for one minute with Jean, why do you keep doing this?"_

_She still didn't answer._

"_Forget it Brittany. Let's go sit down, and I don't want to see you with any of these pills again." It was hard for me and Jean. Brittany was always the one in charge when we were growing up. She wasn't always responsible, but she was the boss. Now it was the other way around. We were taking care of our sister like she was a child. And we still are._

_Brittany did the same thing she always did at that time. She sat and stared at the door. She never took her eyes off of it for one second. She wouldn't eat anything, she would drink anything, she wouldn't stop staring at that door for any reason. Not until after 5:00. That was when Alvin always came home for dinner._

_Part of her couldn't live with the fact that he wasn't walking through that door anymore. She couldn't stand the fact that Alvin wasn't going to have dinner with her ever again. And it ate apart at her for years._

_I grabbed Brittany's hand. "It's 5:01 Brittany."_

"_Okay." That was the first thing I heard from her all day. "I miss him Elle."_

"_We all do Brittany. Do you want dinner?"_

"_Okay."_

_The two of us walked into the dining room for dinner. I put out two plates of food and went back in the living room. "Have a good dinner Brittany."_

_It was the one bargain we had with Brittany. Every day we let her have dinner with Alvin. He wasn't there, but we'd put out food for him in case he showed up. And she wouldn't try anything. We'd sit in the other room, and she'd talk to him._

"_Okay Elle, we're done."_

"_Did you two have a nice chat today?"_

"_Wonderful."_

_I went and cleared off the two plates. Brittany didn't eat much, and of course Alvin didn't eat any… _

_-End of Flashback-_

"I don't know if we've been helping her or just burying her deeper in her depression, but we lost our sister that day along with Alvin, and she isn't coming back, because she isn't whole anymore."

The doctor tapped his pen against his pad, "How about you and Theodore?"

"It's been hard. I love Theodore, but the two of us have been so depressed these past ten years. Theodore won't do anything that reminds him of Alvin. He won't talk about him with me, he won't eat foods Alvin liked, he won't even let me keep anything red where he can see it. Everything that can possibly remind him of Alvin does, and when it does, he gets upset and angry at the world. I don't know what's been going on with him."

"What does he do for a living?"

"He doesn't work. Actually he never has. When we got married, he was trying to get a job in a restaurant, but it was hard to find work without any experience. Eventually he found a job, and he started it the day Alvin died."

"What was it?"

"I don't know. He never told me anything about that day, and he wouldn't tell me before he started the job in case it didn't work out. All I know is he was extremely excited about it, and ever since it happened, he hasn't worked more than one or two days before having to quit again."

"How about you?"

"Well, like I said I stopped sleeping regularly. And I've gotten a weird habit."

"What is it?"

I started to blush, "Well, I stroke his face. All night, I just can't help it. I sit there and stroke Theo's face."

"Maybe it's your way of holding on to old memories."

"But I never did it before."

The doctor smiled, "Yes you did. You just didn't realize it. You told me you stroked Theo's cheek when you went to play paintball."

"You're right, I did. I never realized that. But I wonder…"

"And you told me another time you did it."

Suddenly I remembered, "That's what I did to Alvin." I stared at the doctor, "I just don't want to lose him."

"Why would you be afraid of that? Is he sick?"

"No. But he's so mysterious. He never tells me what he does during the day. But I'm not allowed to come home without calling first. He gets angry if I surprise him, and he always runs and hides things. I just don't know what's going on with him anymore. I don't know what's going on with any of my family.

It's just hard to know that every day that goes by, we grow further apart. I lose more of my sisters, more of my brother, and more of my husband every day. And I know that everything our family has gone through, all of it, is because of me. Because of my mistake.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow. So how shocked were you that Elle was asleep at the wheel? What the heck is Theodore hiding? Why is Brittany so freakin insane all of the sudden? Well… you'll find out… if you check for updates that is. Please review and keep checking in for my (hopefully) regular updates!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Having Dinner**

A/N: I know what you're thinking… two days? Two whole days without an update? What are you trying to do to me? Well… I have bad news, I have real life issues going on with law school work, so fanfic writing has been slower. So for the next few weeks, I'll probably be posting every 2-3 days instead of daily. Also (ducks under desk) for those of you that read Bad Science, number nine has been postponed until mid-March. Sorry to do it.

Anyways, hopefully these two chapters will make up for my lack of posting… enjoy!

**Simon's POV**

It was my day off. Since Brittany moved in, I had to have Theodore stop coming over. I missed him, but there wasn't much I could do about it. With Brittany here, I couldn't drink as much because I had to watch her, and when Theodore was around, I couldn't help but drink. Not when I thought of what Eleanor did to Alvin.

Brittany and I had an unusual relationship. She wouldn't talk to her sisters really, but she would talk to me. I never understood it, but she would always talk to me. That's why I was the one that had to be there whenever she woke up in the hospital. Of course, the two of us usually talked about Alvin, which didn't help either of us. Jeanette never used to trust me to take care of Brittany before, but she didn't have a choice now that she was living with us. Eleanor wouldn't help out since I was here, so I had to fill in for her.

"Simon?"

I twirled my scotch around and looked up at Brittany, "What is it?"

"I'm starting to get hungry; can I go have dinner now?"

"I could care less. Go ahead."

Brittany looked at me hesitantly, "You mean do it myself?"

I rolled my eyes, "Can't you heat up your own food? It's not like I'm planning on cooking anything."

"Well, okay."

I sat on the couch as she went in the other room and stuck some food in the microwave. A few minutes later, I started to get hungry myself, and decided to join her.

"Oh Alvin, stop that. Simon might hear you."

"I did."

I smiled as Brittany turned around quickly. "I'm sorry Simon, I thought Jeanette told you."

"No she didn't. I would have liked to know he was coming over."

Brittany smiled, "Do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to Brittany." I walked over to get something to eat. "Would either of you like something to drink?"

"Simon, you shouldn't…"

"I'm just having water myself, but you two can have whatever you want."

"I'll have some water."

"And I know you aren't a scotch man, Alvin, so it looks like it's going to be juice or water for you."

I set the drinks down on the table and went back to the microwave to prepare my dinner. Brittany smiled as I heated up my food and sat down. "So Simon, we were just talking about the day we went paintballing together."

"Oh you mean the day we all ganged up on you Alvin? I bet your butt still hurts from Brittany's shooting."

"Yeah I bet it does. So Simon, why don't you tell the two of us a story."

"No. I'd like to hear one from the two of you. How about you two tell me about one of your dates."

Brittany smiled at me, "Well, there was this one day we went to dinner. Alvin bought me…"

"Brittany, don't you think it's rude to talk about Alvin like he isn't here?"

Brittany smiled, "Like I said, you brought me to that little Italian place I wanted to try, and you sat me down. We both ordered spaghetti and we fought in the middle of the restaurant over the last breadstick. Then Alvin proposed to me."

"You proposed that day?" I asked. "I never realized you two were…"

"But I said no."

I stuck out my hand and grabbed Brittany's, "Well I bet you understand now though, don't you Alvin?" I stared at the empty chair, "See Brittany, he understands."

Brittany's hand started to shake, "Then you and me went home. You dropped me off at my apartment, and you went to your big house. And I never saw you again."

I stood up and went to hug Brittany, "I'm so sorry Brittany. I didn't know."

She pulled me away, "It's okay Simon. You know, I always dreamed of the day he'd ask me, but for some stupid reason I said no. I guess I just was afraid, but I never told him yes. I mean, I went to his house for dinner every day, I spent every single day with him that I could, it was like we were already married, but I was still afraid."

"Aren't you forgetting Brittany?"

"What?"

"It's rude to talk about Alvin like he's not here with us."

Brittany smiled. "Thank you Simon. I've been wanting to have you for dinner. I mean, we've been wanting you to come to dinner."

"Well I'll come to dinner whenever the two of you will have me." I started to eat, "So tell me about another date. A happy one."

The three of us sat together and told stories. Every once in a while Alvin would tell one, and we'd sit in silence and listen. Hours went by and eventually Jeanette came home.

"Simon? Brittany?"

"We're in here Jean!" I yelled.

Jeanette was shocked when she saw us, "You two are having dinner together."

"No." I quickly responded, "The three of us are."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Theodore's Story**

**Theodore's POV**

I was so nervous about seeing the doctor. I mean, I never told anybody any of these kinds of problems before. I never told anybody about anything that night. I didn't even want to think about it myself. But I knew Elle couldn't deal with how I'd been acting, so I had to try and do something for her. She was so nice to me all the time, but I couldn't keep putting her through any of that anymore. So I told her I would talk to a doctor about it and that was exactly what I was going to do.

The car stopped in front of the building. "Okay Theo, we're here. Are you ready to go in?"

I didn't answer at first, but a second later I did. "Sure Elle. Let's go."

We walked into the office building and sat down in a waiting area for the doctor to see us. "Theodore Seville?"

"I guess that's me. Can you walk me there Elle?"

"Sure Theo. He's really nice, I wouldn't worry about it." Eleanor grabbed my hand and we walked towards the office.

The two of us walked in the door and I stopped dead in my tracks, "We're leaving Elle."

"But Theo…"

"Shut up and get me out of here Elle. I need to get out of here."

The doctor walked towards us.

"Now Elle. We need to go now."

"It's okay Theo, he's…"

"You don't know who that man is. Just get me out of here now Eleanor."

The doctor came towards us, "I'm sorry Theodore, I didn't realize it was you.'

I don't know what came over me, but I pulled my arm back and swung it into the doctor's stomach, "You liar! How could you not know it was me?"

I ran down the hall in tears until Elle stopped me, "Theo, what's going on."

"I can't tell you that Elle."

Eleanor put her arms around my chest and held me. "It's okay Theo, we'll find another doctor."

"Okay Elle. I just can't see him."

"You know him?"

"Yes. Please don't make me talk about this Elle."

The doctor came over towards us, "Theodore, you don't have to talk to me. I'll have someone else talk to you if you like. But you do need to work through these problems. Obviously our past relationship troubles you for some reason."

I looked at him, "I'm sorry, I know it wasn't your fault, but I can't stop thinking about it."

The doctor bent down, "Theodore, I have no idea why you're angry with me. But I'm more than happy to talk to you about it."

I was so confused. I always blamed him, but I couldn't really. It was his fault, but it wasn't. There wasn't any reason I couldn't talk to him, but I didn't want to. "Well, okay." I sat there for a moment, "But Elle sits in, I want her to know this. I've been a pain in the butt for too long and she need to get it."

Eleanor kissed my cheek, "Anything you want Theo. Is that okay doctor?"

"I don't see why not if it will make Theodore happy. Let's go."

The three of us went into his office and I went and lied down on the couch.

"So Theodore, why don't you start with the time before Alvin's death. Around the time we met."

"Well, okay. It was when I was in culinary school. You remember Elle? When I was talking to you about leaving?"

"I remember."

_-Flashback-_

_Like I said, I was in culinary school. It was a little bit before Alvin died. We went paintballing that day. Right before Alvin came to pick us up, I was talking to Eleanor._

"_Eleanor? We need to talk about school."_

_Eleanor walked over and sat down at the kitchen table, "What is it Theo?"_

_I sat down next to her, "I think I need to quit."_

"_Why? You love…"_

"_Elle, we can't afford it. I mean, if I would've gotten a scholarship like I hoped, it'd be one thing, but I'm just not smart enough to get one."_

"_Theodore, you're the smartest person I know."_

"_No I'm not. What about Simon and Jeanette."_

"_They're book smart, but they don't make friends as easily. And they can't make a good dinner." She stroked my cheek, "You're wonderful Theo, and there's a reason I married you."_

"_Elle, these bills aren't going to go away, I need to get a job."_

"_Well then get one, something part time to help with the bills."_

_I sat there for a second, "Well, there's one job, but I don't think I'm gonna get it. I'm not really qualified and I'm not even sure if I want the job and…"_

"_Theodore, you have to have confidence in yourself. If it was my company, I'd hire you in a minute. So what's the job?"_

"_Well, it's kind of… no, I'm not telling you. You'll just get me all excited and then when I don't get it you'll be upset. I'm just going to keep it to myself."_

_Eleanor kissed me again, "Okay Theo. Whatever you want. Now let's get ready for paintball."_

"_Okay Elle. Are we on the same team again?"_

"_No. I switched with Brittany today."_

_I smiled, "She's actually going to be on Alvin's team this time?"_

"_Well… I smiled, actually nobody's going to be on Alvin's team…"_

"_What?"_

"_It's just a little joke."_

"_Well…"_

"_Oh come one it'll be fun to do it to him."_

"_Okay Elle. But you aren't going to freeze the paintballs like he does, are you?"_

"_Of course not Theo, we're not trying to hurt him."_

"_Elle?"_

_She smiled, "It's just one time…"_

_-End of Flashback-_

"That was such a great day. I had that job interview and we went to play, it was great."

"Then what happened Theodore?"

"Well I ended up getting the job, but I still wouldn't tell Eleanor what it was until I did the first day. The first day was that day that Alvin… that he… well, it was the day he killed himself."

"I can understand how that…"

I jumped out of my seat, "You have no idea what it was like to work for you that day. You made me do it! You made me kill my brother!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well those were some odd chapters… Brittany and Simon talking to an empty chair, Theo yelling at the doctor, makes you start to realize that none of you know what's going on… I don't even know. There's only one way to actually figure it out and that's to watch for my next update (whenever that is…) Keep reviewing!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Theodore's Guilt**

A/N: (Author ducks head under desk) I know, I know… a week for the next chapter? Seriously, I'm sorry for the delay. I've been sick and had a ton of law school work, but that's (mostly) behind me so my updates should be regular again. Hopefully these chapters will make up for it! Please enjoy!

**Theodore's POV**

"I-It was the day that Alvin d-died." My hands started to shake and I curled up on the couch. I never thought I'd tell this story, especially not to Eleanor. I knew she couldn't love me after hearing what I did. Nobody in my family would forgive me. Everything fell apart after Alvin died and it was all my fault. I felt a warm hand stroking my cheek.

"It's okay Theodore. There's nothing to get upset about." Eleanor kissed my cheek, "Take your time sweetheart."

_-Flashback-_

_I walked up to the counter of the office. "Hello is this…"_

"_Theodore!" A man shouted happily from down the hall, "Boy am I glad you made it this morning!"_

_I walked over to the voice, it was the doctor. "H-Hi, I'm ready for my first day."_

_He put his hands on my shoulders, "It's going to be fine Theodore. You did great work in training."_

"_I hope you're right. I'm just glad I don't have to start on the phones."_

_The doctor didn't respond._

"_Doctor? You said…"_

"_I know what I said Theodore, but you'll be fine. I told you that part of being a secretary here would be filling in for the phones when we were short on volunteers, and we're short today."_

"_But…"_

_He squeezed my shoulders, "You'll be fine Theodore. We haven't gotten any calls this morning anyway. You'll probably just sit and eat doughnuts all day."_

"_Really?" I replied, "Any glazed?"_

"_Of course. Now just sit by the phone and if anybody calls, just do what you did in training, okay?"_

"_O-Okay."_

_The whole day was pretty quiet. There were only a couple of calls, but the volunteers took care of all those._

_A little while later the two volunteers stood up._

"_Where are you two going?" I asked._

"_We were supposed to be gone an hour ago. It's a slow time anyway so there shouldn't be any calls and there should be a few volunteers coming in about a half hour."_

"_Well, okay. Bye!" I waived to the two as they walked out the door._

"_Bye Theodore, it was nice meeting you!"_

_I stretched my arms. I was a little nervous about being alone there, but I had heard enough calls from the volunteers to know what to do. A couple of minutes later, the phone rang. My hand started to shake as I picked up the phone._

"_H-Hello?"_

_There was a slight pause on the other end._

"_Is anybody there?"_

"_Yes. Is this the crisis center?"_

"_Yeah. I-I'm Theodore how are you doing today? Oh well I guess that's a stupid question, you wouldn't be calling if you were doing well. Not that doing well is bad. You're more than welcome to be doing well. I hope you're doing well. But it's okay if you're not doing well. That's what this number is for. So you can be however you like. But if you're not doing well I want you to be doing…"_

"_I get it. Did you say your name is Theodore?"_

"_Oh shoot. I wasn't supposed to use my real name. It's umm, Sam."_

_I heard a chuckle from the other end, "Well hello there whoever you are."_

"_Well, what's the problem?"_

"_I'm planning on killing myself."_

_I fumbled around with some papers, "Ummm… there were some questions I needed to ask you… just give me a second…"_

_I heard more chuckling from the other end, "Theo? Forget about the questions. I have a gun to my head and I'm going to kill myself."_

_I didn't know what to say. He seemed so sure. "Well why did you call here then?"_

"_To talk. I haven't been able to talk to my brother for a while, ever since he got married last year."_

"_Well I'm sure he wants to talk to you. I know I haven't been able to talk to my brothers much since I got married."_

_I heard a moan from the other end. "Theo, I'm upset because my youngest triplet brother hasn't talked to me recently."_

"_I know that. Well I'll talk to you if you like."_

"_That would be great."_

"_So what's going on in your life that's making you so upset? I mean it has to be more than your brother."_

"_It is. Actually the big thing is my girlfriend. She just told me she wouldn't marry me."_

_I cleared my throat, "I'm sorry about that. Maybe she was just nervous or something."_

"_I just wish that… I wish I had a choice in the matter, but I don't. This is not my choice. I have to do it."_

"_No you don't."_

"_Listen to me Theo. I have to do it."_

_I was so confused by the whole thing, "Listen there are alternatives. I can give you a number…"_

"_Listen to me. This is someone else's fault. It isn't my choice." I heard crying on the other end. "I miss the pancakes Theo."_

_I started to shake. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, "Alvin?"_

"_Bye Theo."_

"_Alvin?"_

_There was a sharp noise on the other end of the phone._

"_Alvin! No! Alvin, say something!"_

_I grabbed another phone and called 9-1-1, "I-I need to report a possible suicide attempt. My brother's suicide."_

_-End of Flashback-_

"It was all my fault. If I would have known what to say or been better at my job, he might not have done it. I should've figured out who it was earlier, so I could send somebody, but I didn't. Plus he wouldn't have done it if I would have just been there for him the past year. But I never really spent as much time with him alone as I did before. We hung about but we didn't talk as much as we used to. All I know is that Alvin died because of me. Like he said, it wasn't his choice, it wasn't his fault, it was someone else's. It was mine. I'm sorry Elle. I should have told you."

Eleanor kissed my cheek. "You have nothing to apologize for Theo. You tried your best to help him."

"Oh Elle. I miss him so much…"

"I know Th…" Eleanor's phone rang, "Hello?" She suddenly squeezed me and hung up the phone. "Come on Theo, we need to go."

"What?"

"Just come on. It'll be fine. Simon's been trying to get ahold of you."

"But…"

"I know sweetheart. Come on."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Bad Habits**

**Simon's POV**

I twirled my glass around in a circle. I knew I had to stop drinking. I kept reliving that moment in my head. When I hit Jeanette. I couldn't believe it. I actually hit the love of my life. Part of me wanted to stop drinking, but another part of me wanted to drown my memories of hitting Jean in more liquor. I was losing myself in my glass. I was losing my life to a bottle. Jeanette lost her husband the same day Brittany lost Alvin. I was only a shell of the man she loved. Simon Seville was lost forever that day. Of course I knew why that happened. It was because of what I did. As much as I wanted to blame Eleanor, I knew that I was the one that should have done something to help Alvin. It was my fault that Alvin was dead.

As I sat on the couch twirling my drink, I made the hardest first step. I took a sip. As much as I drank, the first drink was always hard. It was the choice to continue to live my life this way. After that it was easy. As the hours passed by, I continued to drink. And my problems started to leave.

"Brittany?" I heard a loud crash. "Brittany, is everything alright?"

I slowly stood up and walked towards the kitchen.

"Si…"

"Oh my God, Brittany!" I fell to the floor and felt her pulse. "Damn it, Brittany, what did you take?"

She didn't answer. Whatever it was, it wasn't a sleeping pill this time. "Come on Brittany, everything is going to be okay."

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. "Hello? I need an ambulance!" I gave the operator the address.

"Sir, there's an accident between you and the ambulance. It may be a few minutes to get there. I'm going to walk you through some first…"

"Shut up. I'm a doctor. I know what to do. Just get the fucking ambulance here." I smashed the phone shut. "Come on Brittany, I'll get you to the hospital."

I carried Brittany to the car and jumped in the driver's seat. I knew I shouldn't, but I had no choice. I had no license, and I had just been drinking, but I didn't have a choice in the matter.

As I drove, I grabbed my cellphone. "Come on Theo, pick up." He didn't answer. I flipped through my numbers and got where I wanted. I couldn't believe who I was about to call, but they had to know.

"Hello?"

"Eleanor, I don't want to talk to you but Theodore didn't answer. Brittany is going to the hospital. It's real this time. Get down there quick." I hung up the phone. I may have had to tell her, but I didn't have to talk to her.

It was so hard to drive. I couldn't focus on street names, I couldn't focus on cars, every single decision I made was hard.

I looked up from my windshield. As I saw the light turn yellow, I did what every other person in my situation would do… I smashed my foot on the gas and ran through the light.

All of the sudden the car stopped. Then the back of the car lifted up. I wasn't sure what was going on until a few seconds later. The car had smashed into another vehicle and was flipping over. The car jolted to the side. Another car had hit us. Then another car joined the wreckage. The car was tossed from side to side, continually being hit by other cars. I didn't know what was going on.

I turned back and saw Brittany. She was pressed between the back seat and the front seat, which now were only inches apart from one another. "Brittany, it's going to be…" I was interrupted.

Another car smashed the front of my own. My body flew forward hitting the steering wheel. As my vision started to blacken, I saw the driver of the car in front of me. I saw the face of one of the people I had killed or injured because I made the choice to drive. I never forgot that face.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Simon and Brittany are hurt! Theodore was on the phone with Alvin when it happened! Those were some pretty exciting chapters if I do say so myself! I hope you enjoyed them and I hope you're getting as excited about this story as I am! I'll probably post another update tomorrow so keep watching to see what happens next and please leave a review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Screams**

A/N: Well these two chapters have been a long time coming… honestly I'm sorry about the delay on these, but I had a lot of trouble with them. For one thing, I was at a crossroads with the story, and questioned my original idea for this story. Second, I was finding these two chapters difficult to write. Third, I had a lot of real life issues. And fourth, I kept having unknown forces preventing me from writing these chapters (I lost these chapters twice to computer errors…)

Anyway, I'm done making excuses and they're finished. I was having some trouble with figuring out what I wanted to say, so I settled on just saying what I needed to and leaving it at that. Considering I spend under an hour on most chapters and I spent three weeks on these, you'd think I'd be happy with them, but these are two of my least favorite chapters I've written. But I hope you enjoy them anyway, and I hope now that they are done with, I'll get future chapters to you quicker.

On an unrelated side note, I recently did a one-shot for a collaboration fic and it is not posted in my account, so if you would like to read it, I will post the URL in my profile or you can read it on my dA page (My name on dA is SimonSeville27). It's my favorite one-shot I've written, so I definitely recommend you checking it out.

**Simon's POV**

It was like nothing I had ever heard. The noise filled the hall. A tear fell from my eye. I knew what those screams meant. They were the same screams I heard the night Alvin died. They were Jeanette's screams of anguish and sorrow. I knew those screams meant only one thing… Brittany was dead.

I heard a light creaking of the door. As I turned my head to the noise, I saw a woman that could never forgive me. I saw Jeanette staring at the man who killed her sister.

"Jeanette, I…"

She walked over to my bedside and kissed me. "Oh, Simon. I love you so much…"

"I'm so sorry, Jean. Was she in much pain?"

She pulled her face away from mine. "I'm sorry, Simon, I thought you knew."

A slight giggle came out of my mouth, I just couldn't help it. Jeanette was always so honest and sweet, even when I didn't want her to be. "Jean, nobody wants an actual answer to that question… just lie to me."

She didn't laugh. She bent down towards me. "Simon, Brittany isn't gone."

Suddenly, I thought of that face. The face I saw in the other car. I remembered a conversation from long ago with Theodore.

"It's Theo, isn't it?"

"No. Simon, it…"

I squeezed her hand, "It's not Eleanor, is it?"

"No."

Then it occurred to me. "But I feel…"

"I know, Simon." She kissed my forehead, "You have some damage to your heart. They're not sure when but…"

I squeezed Jeanette's hand, "It'll be okay, Jean. I need you to be strong." I saw her eyes fill with tears… that was a sight I couldn't handle seeing. "It's funny, Jean…"

"What?"

"I always knew my life would hang in the balance of an organ donor list, but I always thought it would be for a liver transplant…"

She smiled, "Simon, how can you joke about this?"

"It's all I can do, Jean."

Jeanette smiled. I knew how hard that was for her. I saw what Brittany went through when she lost Alvin, and I didn't want Jean to go through that. But right now, I had a bigger issue. I kept thinking of that conversation I had so long ago with my brother. And knowing the truth… I knew that I had to tell my story… I had to tell my guilt… it was the only way.

"Jean, I have to talk to you about Alvin."

"Simon..."

"Just listen, Jean, it's important."

"Okay, Simon. I'm all ears."

_-Flashback-_

_I was at work. It was really late at night, and I was paged to go to the emergency room. Usually that meant they were short staffed that night, so I wasn't too excited, but when I got there, I saw something I didn't expect. Well, that's not entirely true. It's not that I didn't expect it, but it was a shock to see, even if I knew it might happen._

"_Alvin?"_

"_Hey Simon."_

_I walked towards him, "What are you doing here?"_

"_It's nothing."_

_I sat next to him, "They wouldn't have called me here if it was nothing…"_

_He lifted his hand from this arm and revealed his mangled wrist._

"_So you tried to kill yourself."_

"_Simon…"_

"_Alvin, when are you going to stop this?"_

_He reached out and grabbed my hand, "Si, I can promise you that today will be the last time you will ever see me in the hospital."_

_And he kept that promise. The next day he died._

_-End of Flashback-_

Jeanette stared at me for a moment. "So he tried before that night?"

"Jeanette, all you need to know is what I told you. Remember that story for me. Please, Jean."

"Of course, Simon, but…"

"No, Jean. That's all I can tell you about that night."

"Okay, Simon."

I sat there for a moment staring at Jeanette. "Jean?"

"What is it, Simon?"

I squeezed her hand, "You don't have to be strong for me."

"What do you…"

"You know what I mean. You keep saying my name and staring at me… just go ahead."

She stared for a moment more, and then broke down in tears. She set her head on my bed and cried into my arm. "Oh, Simon. I love you so much."

"I'm sorry for leaving you, Jean."

"You haven't left me yet, Simon…"

I smiled at her, "Yes I did. I left you when Alvin died. You lost your husband on the same day, at the same time, as this family lost Alvin. I was horrible to everybody, Jean. I am truly sorry I wasn't a better husband."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Their Tears**

**Eleanor's POV**

"Where is she?"

Jeanette didn't answer me. She didn't move. She sat in the chair completely motionless.

I walked towards my sister, "Jeanette, what is it? Where's Brittany? Is she okay?"

Jeanette slowly lifted her head. She didn't speak at first, but I noticed her hand shaking. I sat down next to her and grabbed her hand.

"It'll be okay, Jean. What happened?"

"It's Simon."

Suddenly I became worried, I noticed Jeanette's face was beet red, and I suspected who was responsible. "Did he hurt you?"

A tear fell from Jeanette's eye. "He's dying. There was an accident… when he was coming to the hospital…" Jeanette stopped and grabbed me, "I'm going to lose him, Elle."

I didn't know what to say. Moments earlier I accused him of hurting my sister, and now to hear that he was hurt. "I'm so sorry Jean. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Eleanor."

I squeezed her hand, "How's Brittany?"

"I don't know. She's still in surgery… they're not sure how bad she was…"

"What's wrong?"

I turned around to see my husband holding a tray of food. I didn't know what to say to him. Simon was awful to Theo, but he meant so much to him. "Theo, I think you need to sit down."

A tear started to fall from Theo's eye. He didn't move, he just stared at me.

"Theo…"

"It's Simon, isn't it?"

"How did…"

He dropped the tray of food and turned around. Without talking about it at all, he immediately walked towards Simon's room. I followed him.

Theodore stared at his brother. "I knew this was going to happen."

I put my hand on his cheek, just like I did for so many nights. "Theo, we all knew his drinking would…"

"No, Elle. You have no idea what this means."

Then I saw something I couldn't imagine or understand. Theodore was smiling. As he stared at his dying brother, he was smiling.

"Eleanor, I can't explain it now, but for once everything makes sense to me."

"What…"

"I can't tell you that, Eleanor. You'll just have to trust me."

I put my arms around him. "I always trust you, Theo."

He walked over to Simon's bed and sat down. "Simon, I know you can't hear me, but I'm…"

"Theodore?" A faint voice said, "Is that you?"

Theo bent in to his brother, "Yeah. Simon, I have to ask you…"

A small smile formed on Simon's face. "Yeah, I did."

Theodore turned his head for a moment, "Eleanor, we need to go."

"But…"

"Elle, I need to get home and you need to come with me."

"What is it, Theodore? Is there something you know about…"

"I'm sorry, Elle." He answered. "I can't tell you... not here."

Theodore started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Theo, what do you mean you can't tell me? If you know something about Simon…"

"Damn it, Elle, don't make this harder than it is." He turned around. "Don't you think I want to tell you? I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you this. I need your help, Eleanor, but I'll do it without you…"

"Do what? What are you talking about?"

"You have to trust me."

"I trust you more than anybody, Theo."

"Then bring me home."

"But…"

The faint voice interrupted me. "Eleanor?"

"What is it, Simon?"

He slowly moved his arm to the edge of the bed and grabbed my hand. "I need you to do whatever Theo says. Do it for Alvin."

I knelt next to Simon's bed. There was something I had to tell Simon. It was something I had tried for years to tell him, but never got the chance. This was the first time since the suicide that Simon was talking to me like a person. Plus, I knew that he wouldn't be here much longer, and I had to do this. "Simon, there's something I need to tell you. It's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time."

"You don't have to apologize to me…"

"Yes I do. You trusted me with Alvin and…"

He smiled, "No Elle. I need to apologize to you. I was wrong all these years. You didn't do this to Alvin. You have nothing to feel guilty for."

"But I…"

"Trust me, Eleanor."

"He's right, Elle." Theo put his hand on my shoulder. "There's nothing any of us could have done… now we really need to go."

I was more confused than ever. Simon spent years attacking and insulting me. Theodore spent years hiding things from me and crying about the things Simon said to him. But now it was like they were talking in some code. I didn't understand it, but even though Simon was dying, they both finally seemed happy. All I knew was that there was something I didn't know. Something I hoped I would know soon.

I turned from Simon's bed. "Okay, Theo, let's go. If you think it's important…"

"It's more than important, Elle. It's everything."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Like I said, I went with a short and sweet style on these chapters. Hopefully I'll update again soon, but I'm not going to make promises since I was so horrible with these chapters. Sorry again, everybody!**


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